Jamaica – 26 Sept 2005 – That’s more like it

I had a nice, relaxed weekend at Hedo. The entertainment this weekend was more to my liking. Instead of the Red Hot Male contest, this weekend the Extreme Babe Swimsuit Calendar girls were doing a photoshoot. These girls were hot, with a capital H. Tight bodies like you would not believe, all of them very cute and young. They significantly raised the cuteness factor. As always, the blondes dominated the top 3 spots at the “contest” they had on Friday night. The redhead had my vote.

I think the key to Hedo is getting there on a weekend where something is going on and there are lots of people. The attitude of the guests really effects the type of weekend. If the people are wild and fun, the place will be hopping and you will meet a lot of interesting people. If the crowd is not as friendly, you might not have as good a time. If you were going to a couples resort and just planning to spend time with each other, everyone else doesn’t matter. Half the interest for Hedo is the other people. I would definitely recommend going to Hedo during high season, so as to experience the wild side of it.

The wife and I have finally come to a compromise. Instead of one of us travelling 24 hours for a 4 day weekend, we are both going to fly to Toronto and meet there for a romantic getaway. Not sure what we are going to do, but I will ask her to bring a bunch of stuff for me and will send back some stuff I do not need.

It’s only 4 days (she might get only 3), but I think we need to spend the time together.

Jamaica – 21 Sept 2005 – Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

So they say. I have always viewed this saying with suspicion. Absence does make you appreciate the one you are missing but there are limits to this. There is something to sharing your life with someone else. I mean sharing the daily small things. Making meals together, sleeping in the same bed, bumping into each other in the bathroom. Getting used to having someone around everyday can be a strong reinforcement to the love you share. So, while I appreciate the wife more now that she is not around, I am getting used to her not being around. I am reverting back to my bachelor ways.

I actually miss my wife more now than during my last tour, which was two months longer. I think it is because during my last tour we had only just met, had be dating for a few months and not living together. We have been living together for over a year now, with only a maximum of two weeks apart. This is the longest I have been apart from my wife since we started living together.

I have decided to take some steps to address the situation. We have a mid course break coming up, so I have suggested the wife and I meet in Toronto for a little romantic weekend. I bit expensive for only four days, but what the hell, it’s only money. I think it is worth it to keep our relationship on the right track. I even promised not to let my family know I am in town. This will be a true romantic getaway.

Unfortunately, I don’t think the wife will be able to get out of Edmonton for the weekend due to work. The only other option would be for me to fly home. I am not keen on taking two flights of 3-4 hours each (probably a minimum of 12 hours travel time each way) for a four day weekend. So we are talking about going from a 4 day to a 3 day weekend due to travel time. Add on to it that the wife may have to work for 2 of those days, and it becomes a waste of time. Besides, she would probably have me hanging curtains or something of that sort.

Not my idea of a vacation.

Individual Freedom

Here is a great piece about how American society is becoming about authority and not about responsibility.

The day before hurricane Rita hit Texas, last Friday, I saw on TV something that disturbed me. It was not the usual scene of crashing waves and hardy reporters being blown sideways by wind gusts. It was a fat Texas guy swimming in the waves off Galveston. He'd apparently decided the high surf was a good thing to jump into, so he went for a prehurricane swim. Two cops saw him, waded into the surf and arrested him. When I saw it the guy was standing there in orange trunks being astonished as the cops put handcuffs on him and hauled him away.

I thought: Oh no, this is isn't good. This is authority, not responsibility.

You'd have to be crazy, in my judgment, to decide you were going to go swim in the ocean as a hurricane comes. But in the America where I grew up, you were allowed to be crazy. You had the right. Sometimes you were crazy and survived whatever you did. Sometimes you didn't, and afterwards everyone said, "He was crazy."

If this is a problem in America, what is the state of individual freedom in Canada?

Jamaica – 19 Sept 2005 – Dropping the Hobby

If you remember from this post, I talked about taking up alcoholism. I have been forced to drop this hobby. I am a bit of a lightweight when it comes to drinking, and I really hate hangovers.

I have been practicing a lot on the weekends. Getting just the right level of drunk is a bit of an art form. Stage 1 is what I call happy drunk. This is when you have a warm feeling inside are relaxed and can still carry out a good conversation. A few more drinks down range and things start to go downhill. I start to have trouble focussing on things, I say things I would not normally say, walking gets more difficult and jokes made by others are laughed at too heartily. This is stage 2. Whenever I get to stage 2, I get embarrassed. Further stages beyond that are the vomiting and blackout stages, and it goes without saying that I am not tempted to go there. Stage 1 is where I want to be. Unfortunately, the various mixed drinks at the resorts (give a dirty banana a try) go down very smoothly. Too smoothly in fact. While I am trying to stay in stage 1, the drinks are going down so fast that before you know it I am knocking on stage 2. Also, the bartenders tend to mix the drinks very stiff, so you may find yourself drunk before you know it. I started to go back to beer (Red Stripe), in order to better pace myself. However, now beer is starting to become like water to me. I can barely get a buzz off it.

So I will have to find another hobby. My peak climbing is going ok so far. I am behind on the number of assents that I wanted by this time as my knee has been bothering me and preventing me from getting up as much as I could. Still, I am close to being on track, only about 4 assents behind my rate of 5 per week. Not bad, as I started out with about 3 per week as a goal but raised it. I can’t see that I have lost any weight from it. Those beers pack a lot of calories.

This is an excellent quick and dirty chronology of the FLQ terrorist group by Right Thinking People.

The GG has only one small part in these events, appearing in a movie toasting these murderers and terrorist. However, it does make you wonder if she was involved in other ways. Let's face it, would you appear in a movie toasting some terrorists if you did not at least support their cause? And if you did, would you expect to become GG?

I guess the Alberta Separatists For the Violent Overthrow of the Evil Canadian Oppressors(tm) can stop wearing masks in the darkened room where they have their meetings. How is a person to become GG if Paul Marin doensn't know you are a terrorist (or at least support them)?

By the way, that was just the first name that came to our (I mean their) mind.

They could be convinced to change it. Please submit your suggestions for better names as comments to this post.

The best, as judged by me, gets a prize.

The System is Corrupt

The BS is stacked like cordwood in Ottawa. Look at this article on former Liberal Cabinet Minister and now head of the Royal Canadian Mint, David Dingwall. Five grand on one meal? 92k in foreign travel?

Never mind if this is according to the rules, does the head of the Mint really need to spend this much money? How can you spend 5k on one meal? This people are so divorced from the reality of ordinary Canadians, they surely do not represent us.

Against the rules or not, this guy should be fired for such spending and the position should be terminated. I do not want my tax dollars used so that ex-Liberals can have a cushy job trotting around the globe, spend 5 thousand dollars on one meal.

The entire system has got to change.

Update: Ask and ye shall receive. David Digwall has resigned over his illegal lobbying and expense account.

This changes very little. A small fish has been sacrificed to protect the bigger fish.

Where is the jail time?

The entire system still has to change.

Jamaica - A Short History Of the JDF Training Depot Newcastle

Nestled high in the hills of St. Andrew, historic Newcastle is more often than not seen for its beauty and unique features. But it is rarely seen for what it truly is, a monument to the integrity and courage of one man, who, by his great foresight, made it the means of saving literally hundreds of men from death by Yel­low Fever.

The idea of establishing a military barracks in the hills of St. Andrew was broached by Field Marshal, then General, Sir William Gomm, Commander of Her Majesty's Forces in Jamaica in a let­ter dated 7 April 1840 to Governor Metcalfe in which Gomm expresses great displeasure at the high mortality rate among European troops on the coastal plains due to Yellow Fever.

The death rate due to Yellow Fever in 1838 was one soldier every two and a half days. This was a good year with only 91 men dying of fever; in 1839, 110 men perished; and in 1840, 121 suc­cumbed to Yellow Fever. It was this fever epidemic that greeted Gomm when he arrived in Jamaica to take up his command early in January 1840.

The situation had worsened to the extent that during the earlier years when the Royal Scots were warned for duty in the West Indies, the captains drew lots as to who would go. It became gen­erally accepted that a posting to the West Indies was vir­tually a soldier's death sentence.

Gomm dispatched letter after letter to the British government seeking the author­ity and fi­nances to start construction of barracks in Newcastle. Initially, these pleas fell on deaf ears as the British government was worried about the expense of the venture, not realizing fully the dangerous reduction in manpower resulting from the frequent in­roads by fever.

Eventually, Gomm decided that he would take the matter into his own hands. Knowing that he had the approval of the governor, he acted without the British gov­ernment's consent and started construction early in 1841.

In December 1841 the Board of Ordnance authorized the erection of a permanent barracks at Newcastle to house a battalion. Gomm had won his battle. In a surprisingly chatty letter to Lord Fitzroy Somerset, dated 4 December 1841, Gomm exclaims: "We have carried the Hill".

Gomm knew perfectly well that fever would come sooner or later to Newcastle by carrier be­cause commerce between Newcastle and Kingston was in­evitable. In light of subsequent events, the wisdom of Gomm's devoted struggle was amply justi­fied. In 1842, very soon after Newcastle was established, only 24 of the 197 troops there died. Five years later, seven men died from a strength of 583, and in 1853, only two men per­ished out of 476.

General Gomm left Jamaica at the end of 1841 to assume command of the North­ern District of England. He died in 1875 at the age of 91. His obvious talents as a soldier and administrator were fully recognized, and his far-seeing humanity has a permanent memorial, Newcastle Hill Sta­tion.

From its founding until 1959, Newcastle was used by both British and Canadian regiments serving in Jamaica as a change-of-air camp. Some regiments moved to the hills completely while others would rotate companies during the year. Others still would merely send cadres for training at Newcastle.

Jamaica – 15 Sept 2005 – It’s Fly Season

It is now officially Fly Season up here on the hill. This does not refer to airplanes but to those small insects that rate up there as one of the most annoying things on this planet. There are a number of coffee plantations in the area and at about this time they all fertilize their plants. This means many more flies. Actually, the place was relatively fly free before, so it is not unbearable now. I was led to believe it would be much worse than it is.

As you may be aware, the site is now getting regular updates, which means we now have landline access to the internet. I will have daily updates to the site until I catch up to present time.

Yesterday was an unusual day in Kingston. Twelve people were murdered in a space of 24 hours. Normally it is only 1-2 people killed each day. If any North American city had the same murder rate as in Jamaica, it would be a public scandal.

A New Addition

I try to keep my blog roll short. I add only those that I feel really deserve to be on it.

Here is a blog that I have neglected adding for much too long.

Check out Dust My Broom.

Update: Also removed some dead links

Destruction of our Traditions by Stealth

Here is an interesting article on our new GG and those calling for the removal of that position.

Now there are many reasonable arguments for and against a GG. I am for having a GG for the following reasons:

-We need a head of government. Without a GG, the PM would be required to fulfill many more ceremonial events that would take him away from governing. We could run the country this way. This is the American system, where the head of government is also the head of state. This means more ceremonial jobs for the boss, and less time to devote to the affairs of state. If I was the PM, I would love to have someone I could pass off all the pomp to. For those Royalists, this is the best argument against getting rid of the GG. Since Canadians seem to reflexively hate whatever Americans do, all you have to say is that no GG means more like Americans. The idea defeats itself.

-If we rid ourselves of the GG, we will just have to set up a President or King to head the country. Unless you want the PM to do this? Considering that the PM (and PMO) has too much power already, this would be a mistake. So whether we call the person the Governor General, President or King, who cares? Why not keep what we have so at least we have some connection to our past and other countries that share our past? Have we not already destroyed enough of our past? What is it about our past that the left hates so much that they have remove all traces of it?

However, this is not what I really want to talk about. Two GG's, seemingly cut from the same cloth, (both CBC personalities). Are there no other persons in Canada, not from the CBC, who could represent our country? The Liberals seem to think not. I am not one for the principle of diversity, but for a government that seems to worship at its altar, where is the diversity of our last two GG's? Is there any doubt about the hypocrisy of the Liberals? Is there any doubt that the public would not see the hypocrisy of this? The Liberals seem to be trying to destroy our Canadian traditions by stealth. Putting up the worst persons possible, picking the highly political with axes to grind. If your desire was to destroy the tradition of a Governor General but were afraid to say it our loud, you would pick the worst person possible until the public go fed up and demanded the post be removed. C'mon, a separatist as GG? Is this a joke?

The so-called monarchists are no better. They will defend anyone to save their traditions. Read this article where the chairman of the Monarchist League of Canada states that her unambiguous statement on her loyalty to her country proves her dedication to Canada. It this guy for real? Where I come from, actions speak louder than words. Thirty years as a separatist is washed away by one statement "I am loyal"? What garbage.

John, you are not doing you cause any favours by supporting this woman.

Jamaica – 12 Sept 2005 – Hedo a Second Time

We spent the weekend at Hedo, this being my second weekend there. The place is the same. The people were a bit wilder this weekend, as evidenced by more public sex then the last time. Some guy was doing his wife in the hot tub right by the disco. The only place that would have been more public would be right on the disco floor. Not sure this is the kind of thing I want to see. I quickly averted my eyes once I figured out what was going on.

The crowd was big on nudity this weekend. About half of the people in the quad pool were in their birthday suits, up from about 10% two weeks ago. Unfortunately, not all of them should have been naked. Remember my fear about ugly, fat, old German tourists? Well, I was wrong. They are Americans. Nice people, as I talked to them for a bit. However, the guy’s wife had to be at least 300 pounds and he over than. Not really the site I wanted to see. That said, there were some sights that were worth the price of admission. One girl had a nice girl-next-door thing going and the skimpy g-string she was wearing did not leave much to the imagination. Unfortunately, she covered up her perfect (but fake) rack. What is the deal with that? If you are going to spend that much for breasts you might as well show them off.

We had dinner at the Japanese restaurant that night. A guy and his wife sat with us. You would not believe how drunk she was. She was wearing a low cut dress and one of her breasts kept falling out, a la Princess Diana. At one point her husband told her she was acting badly and she should stand in the corner. This she promptly did, pulling her skirt up in the crowded restaurant. Surprisingly, she was wearing underwear.

Never a dull moment at Hedo.

Jamaica – 9 Sept 2005 – Back to the Coast

We came down to Kingston last night. Every other week the students put on a party, which can get pretty wild. Last night the theme was a pool party, which they had at the Officer’ Mess at Up Park. The staff (including me) stayed overnight in a hotel in Kingston and we completed a easy half day on the JDF Base. From there we leave for the Coast at about noon, which means we should get there at a reasonable time.

I am looking forward to a nice quiet weekend.

Jamaica – 8 Sept 2005 – Happy First Dateiversary

Yesterday was the anniversary of our first date. I sent the wife a card, which she finally got on Tuesday. I spoke to her last night, and she seemed happy that I remembered and sent her something. The funny thing is, she did not remember our anniversary. I could have ignored it without the risk of the angry “You forgot…” drama thing. This is why I say our relationship is reversed. She is the anniversary forgetting man while I am the sensitive, remember everything, woman. At least regarding dates. When it comes to remembering what I said 10 years ago or what I did wrong last week, she reverts back to the woman role. I am not so much the woman that I cry when she forgets a “significant date”, however, I am not above using the fact that she forgot to making her feel guilty. I will put that one in the bank for later. Anyway, she seemed happy yesterday, so that makes me happy. In all honesty, the wife treats me very well. The last time I was away on a tour, she sent me stuff regularly and it was much appreciated. She has already sent me something (which has not arrived yet) and I know she will send me more stuff.

However, the key thing about this post is that I have invented a new Hallmark holiday to compete with Valentine’s day. You heard it here first on MLWGF. I know every guy will hate me as this means another expensive holiday they are likely to forget, but I don’t care as long as the residuals keep rolling in.

Jamaica – 5 Sept 2005 – Why call at all?

I talked to the wife last night. Either she had some man over at the house or is getting bored of me, because she seemed to be looking to get rid of me. She started by telling me that not much was going on so she had nothing to tell me. I said the same, as things are settling into a routine. Then she says that she will say goodbye, as this call was costing a lot of money, about $1 per minute. This she says as if she is pissed off, as if it is my fault. I am pretty much struck dumb by this statement, as she was supposed to call the phone company and get some sort of plan, which she obviously has not done. When I bring this to her attention, she gives me some excuse about the phone company being on strike and not having any time. This is right after she has just told me that she spent the whole day inside because it was raining and how she did not do anything today and how she had no plans for tomorrow (labour day). Here I am, all homesick, resisting the charms of naked women while far from home and when I call for a bit of proper female companionship, all I get is grief about how much it costs, a problem which is somehow my fault and could be easily solved with one phone call.

I couldn’t even squeeze an “I love you” out of her when I said goodbye. These calls are not helping me. At the start of the call I miss her, by the end I am pissed off.

Jamaica – 4 Sept 2005 – Back from another resort weekend

The info I told you about Breezes Runaway Bay was generally correct. The place is bigger than Hedo and I bit nicer. The beach is amazing. Quite big and very white, fine sand. I think you would have trouble finding a nicer beach in Jamaica. As mentioned, the food was excellent and a larger selection than Hedo. Overall, a nice place. The place is one of the oldest resorts in Jamaica. This means it lacks some of the things that are standard in other resorts. Breezes has only one pool, which is quite big, but most other resorts have more than one. Breezes does not have a pool bar, which was where I spent most of my time last weekend. They do have 2 jacuzzis, but both are small and a bit crappy looking. Hedo has a few pools, with the main pool having a pool table in it, a bubble pool, tables, a way up to the bar, hot tube and the waterslide that goes through the disco. The large Jacuzzi tubs in the rooms in Hedo I know would be a drawing card for the wife. The tubs in the rooms in Breezes are standard. Most people have better tubs at home.

While at the bar on Saturday in Breezes, we met this archetict that was making drawings. They are going to remodel Breezes Runaway Bay over the next year or so. They will be adding many of the things that are standard in most resorts, such as a pool bar. The place will be a lot better once that is finished.

Not sure about how often I will return or if the wife and I will go there on our vacation. As I said, everything was good, no problems, but the place was dead. Even worse than Hedo last week. And they were right about no night life. The one good thing is that you can go to Hedo from Breezes (both owned by SuperClubs) at night for a short $5 bus ride, which we all did. There were a number of other Breezes guests I recognized that night. Hedo was a bit wilder this weekend. Saturday night is “As Bare as you Dare” in the disco, and some were quite bare. Two girls wore those bikinis where the strip of cloth covering the best parts are about the size of your finger. Some other woman appeared to only be wearing paint, and the paint was being used on parts that were probably not of main interest to the men in the audience. In addition, there were many others wearing clothes that would cause a scandal back home, however, I do not mention them as they are unremarkable at Hedo. One other thing, I walked into the area of the quad pool and some guy was doing his girlfriend (wife?) right on the beach chairs around the pool. There were other people in the area, so it is not like I surprised them. I understand this type of thing is quite normal, so be wary if you go there.

As I said, Breezes is nice, but the dead night life is a killer. If the wife was with me I would not mind so much, as I would spend the time with her. However, alone I would at least like to be able to hang out in the disco and dream about how much fun I would have with my wife. Even if she was with me, its no fun dancing in a disco when you are the only ones there.
So far, I would prefer to go to Hedo for a few days when the wife comes. There are many other places in Jamaica, so I will try to do a bit of a recce on them before we need to book. Perhaps the resorts will pick up and more people will come as we get closer to high season, which may change my mind about Breezes.

Jamaica – 2 Sept 2005 – End of another week

Another reasonably uneventful week has passed. Today we head off to Breezes. We are supposed to leave a bit earlier this week, so we should be there at a more reasonable hour. Some of the group is heading back to Hedo. I am probably going to alternate between the two, just to keep things interesting. Not much to tell. Things are starting to settle into a routine. A bit of a boring routine, to be honest. I am going to have to find something more to do to keep things interesting.

Jamaica – 1 Sept 2005 - Hedo follow-up

I told the wife a bit about Hedo and asked here if she would be interested in going there for a few days on our vacation at the end of the course. She said she would not mind it. I then decided I would push her a bit and asked if she would use the nude areas. As I have written before, I am not sure I would be willing to strip down. I didn’t last weekend, and I would not ask her to do something I cannot. So I was being a bit of a tease. Her reply was that she might, if she lost some weight.

This is exactly the wrong attitude. First off, my wife is not fat. It’s hard to find normal people over thirty who are not at their ideal weight, and we are probably no exception. However, Hedo is about yourself, not others. It’s about being uninhibited, if you want to. It’s not about if others will think you are fat, or ugly, or whatever. Besides, fat or not, the bathing suits women wear today don’t leave much to the imagination. On or off, one can pretty much tell how fat a person is. I saw some very uninhibited big girls last weekend.

Sorry honey, if you are reading this, but you have two options if we go to Hedo. You can use the next three months to lose weight or just don’t worry about it. I certainly am not going to worry about it.

Jamaica 31 Aug 2005 – A few tips on calling home

I have been trying to call the wife once per week. I would probably call more, as there are times when I feel a bit homesick, but I don’t want her to think I am a wuss.

As I write this, our landline is still down, so we talk by cell phone, which can be a bit choppy at times. As incoming calls are free and I am a cheap bastard, I call her and get her to call back right away.

It can be a bit of reality check to talk to the wife. I have this version of her, called the “away” version, which becomes the real version soon after we are apart. “Away” wife resides high up on a pedestal, perfect in every way. Unfortunately, “reality” wife can never live up to “away” wife. I first realised I had this unrealistic version of my wife when I called her. As I was dialing the number I would feel all mushy and lovesick inside, and I would think about how much I love her and miss her, etcetera. We would exchange greetings and I miss yous, then the conversation would stop. Nothing to talk about. Usually I would talk a bit about what I am doing, but to be honest, by now it is pretty much routine. Many of the things going on here are not interesting unless you have the context and know the people. So, inevitably, she will talk about what is going on a home. If we had kids, this would probably be all about them. We don’t so it becomes about the cats. Since cats sleep about 23 hours a day, this is a short conversation. Talk eventually turns to the house, which is always about problems. This is when the big needle of reality bursts the fantasy bubble.

A tip to the women on the home front: when you talk about problems, bring solutions. Nothing is more frustrating for a man then to be away from home and know of a problem that he could fix but cannot due to distance. The furnace guy did not show up, there are mice in the house, the roof leaks, the lawn tractor doesn’t work right. All these things just call to us to come home and set them right. Now my wife is very competent. 99% of these problems she can fix and doesn’t need my help. That doesn’t matter. I still feel this need to solve them and I launch into a long questioning session to get as much information so that I can solve the problem. The conversation usually ends sometime after this, and I end up feeling helpless and frustrated over things I cannot control.

This is not to say that the wife should not tell me about problems or ask for advice. I want her to. However, she should be aware of how my mind works. Saying something like “There was a problem with…. but I did….. and everything is good” would go a long way to easing my pain.

I guess my advice to all women with husbands overseas is to remember that he likely has some romantic ideal of you when he calls. Try not to burst this fantasy if you can, as it helps to sustain us. By all means tell us what is going on at home, good and bad, as it helps to remind us why we are here. Remember how our minds work and try to do it in a way that minimises our frustration.

I think I will call the wife and tell her I love her.

Jamaica – 30 Aug 2005 - What I learned at Hedo

First thing – Hair is bad.

No one wants to see hair. People who go naked trim or cut the hair that is not normally seen. Do you have to? No. But since most do, you probably want to if you want to fit in.

Second thing – I love my wife.

I love her a lot. More than I thought I did. Why do I say this? Before I tell you, I bit of background.

I am the kind of person who tends to question everything. This includes the love in our relationship. Some might say this is a bad thing, but before you judge, listen to my reasons. First of all, I don’t believe love is some magical, mysterious thing that just happens. There is an element of that to it, but it is also needs work and attention. Why do people who love each other get divorced. And mark my words, 99.9% of those who get married never believe they will divorce. Yet 40+% of all marriages in North America end in divorce. I love my wife but I do not think we are so special as to be immune from the chance for divorce. By recognizing a problem you are half way towards solving it.

I believe that many of the people who get divorced sabotage their own relationships. For whatever reason, they decide that they no longer want to spend their life with that person, and work towards destroying the relationship. They not longer tell their wife they love her, they forget special days, they fail to do special things for each other, you get the picture. Doubt my theory? Just think about anyone you ever dated where it did not work out. The vast majority of us dislike confrontation and we fail to come out directly to the person we are seeing and say “I don’t like you, it’s over, don’t talk to me ever again.” Most dating relationship end when you stop calling her, or are always busy with the guys, or start dating her friend. Am I right? Perhaps there are people who tell those they are dating straight out its over, but most of us are cowards.

Anyway, the point is people sabotage their own relationships. There has to be a tipping point between love to and ending a relationship. My guess is that it happens when a couple fails to reinforce their feelings for each other. You might know your wife loves you, but it still makes you feel better when she tells you so. The little things are important. So my theory is that, as an example, people get busy with work, looking after the kids, etc and they fail to reinforce their love by doing those little things. At some point, one partner (or both) find they are not getting what they need for the relationship, so they go somewhere else. Infidelity, the end of trust and love equals the end of the marriage. Some people try to recapture that love and are successful.

From my perspective, I got married for life, for better or for worse, so the way I see it, I am stuck with my wife. If I make her life happy, she will make mind happy. And vice versa.

Anyway, this is certainly the long way round to get to my point. I was concerned about going to Hedo because of what it might do to our relationship. I am a very loyal partner and I have never cheated on anyone. However, I recognise that I have never really been tested. Part of that is do to the fact that I tend to avoid temptation, and Hedo has a reputation of willing partners, and, considering I have been away from the wife for a month (and I am feeling the effects), I was concerned the temptation might be too much. It was a little bit sad. Here I was at one of the wildest clubs in Jamaica, (definitely the wildest I have been to), with attractive, topless or nude women all around and all I could think about was how I missed my wife and wished she was with me. When I guy sees a beautiful women, he is not supposed to think about his wife. We have been programmed by biology to spread our seed. When I see a naked woman, all I am supposed to think about is impregnating her. Instead I am thinking about how I miss my wife.

I hope this just has something to do with the fact we are still in the honeymoon phase of our marriage. If not, I may not be able to look at another woman for the rest of my life.

The triumph of reason over biology.

I’m scared.

Jamaica – 29 Aug 2005 – Hedo Report – Part 2

I am not much into public nudity or public sex. Never mind the reasons, my own psychological hang-ups are a whole different post. The point is, I was a bit hesitant coming to Hedo. I thought I would be subjected to a lot of temptation. I am very loyal to my wife and I have no intention of having any type of relationship with another woman for the rest of my life. It is a bit scary to say that, but to me that is part of what marriage is about. However, I know that other people cheat on their spouses, some with their permission. The military is bad for that. I think I am strong enough to fight off temptation, but why tempt fate. Some of the people I have known who cheat seem to have strong relationships, at least as strong as ours. I thought Hedo might be a bit too much temptation. I worry too much. For a prude like me, it is not as wild as they make it out to be.

Hedo is divided into 2 parts, what they call the nude and the prude side. I was firmly in the prude. The split is not 50/50. What you really have is an open resort with a separate nude beach, nude pool and Jacuzzi. I was afraid I would be subjected to naked, old, fat, German public sex at every turn. Nothing could be further from the truth.

The prude side has everything else. Four restaurants, the main pool (with see through waterslide), jacuzzi, tennis courts, beach with water sports, trapeze, steam room, sauna etc. Just like any other resort, most have the same ammeities. Hedo has all that. The things it has that are different (excluding the nude thing), is the waterslide, the see through bottom jacuzzi and the pool table in the pool, which I thought was neat. Almost forgot, every room has a mirror on the ceiling over the bed and the tub.

As I said, Hedo is really a resort with a nude part. That said, there is some overlap between these areas, which is great for people like me who want to see naked people but don’t want to take off our own clothes. The resort is partially clothing optional. Most respect the areas, so you won’t see a bunch of nudists in the restaurant at dinner (thankfully). However, the quad pool had a number of people fully naked or just topless. I must admit, I enjoyed the added beauty it provided to the scenery.

Now, to the negatives. Compared to the place we are going next weekend, Breezes Runaway Bay, the cost is about $20 US more per person per night at Hedo. Yet, they tell me that at Breezes the food, both selection and quality, is slightly better. Also, the staff is a bit more responsive, there are more water sports, the beach is larger, and the sand is better. Ouch, what more is left? As I said, I would like to compare the two, but I have been to a number of resorts, one in Jamaica, and two in Thailand, and I did not have any problem with anything at Hedo. The food was good, no complaints about the quality or selection. I did not try the watersports, but the beach seemed large enough and the sand was sandy. The staff was quite responsive. In fact, they were bringing me drinks before I asked and, if I did not know better, I would think the bartender was trying to pick me up. However, the place was a bit empty. One of the guys has been there about 15 times and he mentioned that he had never seen the place so dead. We later found out they were about 60% full, so maybe that was why the staff was so good. I don’t think so, as I felt the staff was genuinely friendly and helpful. Another visit will be required to confirm.
So, with all these things not as good as other places, why go to Hedo? Two reasons. The first is nudity. If you want to be a bit more uninhibited without people staring at you and without going to a nudist colony, then this is the place. The second reason is somewhat related. The people who come here tend to be looking to party. At other places, if you want to get laid, you had best bring your own. Not necessarily so at Hedo. So this is the place to go if you are single. The attitude of Hedo guests can be seen in the night life. Things at the disco don’t get going until 12 or 1 o’clock, while Breezes is dead by 10 pm.

So, would I recommend Hedo? Yes, but only if you are looking for certain things, else there are better places for a bit less money.

If you are looking to explore a bit of the nude scene in a relaxed environment or if you are single and want a good night life, then Hedo is your place.

Jamaica – 28 Aug 2005 – Hedo Report - Part 1

This trip did not get off to an auspicious start. We got caught in Kingston traffic, which added about an hour to the trip. In addition, the front desk did not seem to have any record of our reservations. After getting that sorted out our first stop was dinner. It was after dinner that I started to feel inadequate. The resort had some hot hunk contest going on and a bunch of chiselled 20 year olds with six packs that you could bounce quarters got on stage. If these were the typical guests, boy was I out of place. Kudos to the emcee though, who was the reigning Miss Erotic Jamaica. I later found out that these guys were not guests, but professionals taking part in some Mr. Red Hot contest. The big tip off was the next day when I saw them individually involved in various photoshoots around the resort. My sense of inadequacy diminished, I could go on to enjoy myself.

And enjoy I did. I pretty much spent the day lying around the pool. It was nice to sit around and not have the wife bugging me to get up and do something. My fears about German tourists were unfounded. Most of the clientele are Americans or Canadians. But there is a wild side to the place. The first night we went to the disco and the theme was fetish night. Of course, I had forgot my whips and leather (sarcasm), but others had not. One guest was wearing a see through black bra, panties and garter belt. Another woman just decided to take her top off. Two tall skinny woman were dirty dancing with just about every guy and each other. However, you have to be a bit suspicious. The resort employs some entertainment staff, who all seem to be about 20 years old, very attractive, extremely fix and uninhibited. In addition, the two skinny women seemed to be Russians. Not many Russians come to Hedo. The rumour is that the resort gives free stays to good looking, uninhibited women who like to party and in exchange they help to keep the atmosphere at the right level. Nice work if you can get it. Do I have any proof of this? No, it’s just a rumour. However, I find it hard to believe girls as hot as that would be on a vacation without a pack of single guys following them.

What about the public sex stuff? I did not see any, but I was told that the nude jacuzzi gets busy at night, and on Saturday there were about 4 couples that were discretely engaged in certain acts. Also, one of the guys told me he was propositioned by a girl. Overall, I found Hedo more than wild enough for me yet it didn’t subject me to anything I did not want to be subjected to. It is much more tame than its reputation, which was way too wild for me.

I will go again.

Jamaica – 26 Aug 2005 - Off to debauchery

Today we leave for our first weekend at the resorts. The first one we are going to is Hedo, which is short for Hedonism III for those of you not in the know. Hedo has a reputation as the wildest club on the Island, and I had heard of it some years ago. It is known for lots of nudity and casual sex. I am not sure about this weekend. I am as red blooded as the next guy, but I follow a very strict, “Look, but don’t touch” policy. I am not sure I want to be tempted. Well, a little temptation is ok, but this place has a reputation for nudity and orgies everywhere. I am not sure this is the kind of thing I want to see everywhere I look when I am trying to relax. Beside, it is never like in a porno movie. Most guys have visions of young, attractive, fit lesbians having sex with each other everywhere. The reality is usually a bunch of 65 year old, fat German tourists having sex with each other everywhere. No one wants to see that. One of predecessors saw fit to mention Hedo in his post exercise report, saying “I have learned a lot about human nature that will have shaped (or scarred) me for life.” I bit cryptic for my tastes. Anyway, it’s too late to change now.

I will practice my investigative reporting skills and get back to you after the weekend.

Jamaica – 24 Aug 2005 - Everyone needs a hobby

I am thinking of seriously taking up a hobby. Since there is not much to do up here, I think a good one would be drinking. I enjoy it, especially rum, (which is plentiful in Jamaica and very good), and it makes you feel good. Alcoholics are usually lots of fun, if not to anyone around them then to themselves. Besides, after you hit rock bottom and sort yourself out, everyone is so impressed. “That’s Bob, he looks so good since he cleaned himself up.” The sober people just don’t get that kind of respect.

I have decided the drink of choice will be Appleton’s V/X. It is good stuff. Slightly less alcohol than their other amber rum, but more smooth and tasty.

It costs a little more, but I’m worth it.

Jamaica – 22 Aug 2005 - Overly concerned

I started to be a bit concerned about the morale of my boss. He seemed a bit overly upset about the various “challenges” we have been facing. This did not seem to be too serious, as he admitted that he has been losing patience due to the fact that he has be involved with this course for 6 years. After some time one tends to get less patient with little problems.

However, coupled with that, he seemed less friendly than usual. I would pass him by and say hello, and he would stare at me with a confused look. Either he was pissed at me about something, or his morale was down. I did not think he was upset with me, as he is a straight shooter. If he is not happy with you, he will tell you. I respect that.

However, there is one other option I did not consider. The other day we were talking and he let it slip that he was on a medical pension. The medical problem is his hearing. His is a category 4, which is as close to deaf as you can get without being deaf. And he refuses to wear a hearing aid. It is quite funny to have someone say directly to you “…and if I look confused when you talk to me it is probably because I can’t hear you.” I could just see the little light over my head go click. I don’t help that as I tend to go by people I know and see a lot and simply nod in their direction or make a grunting noise to acknowledge them.

Mystery solved.

Jamaica - 21 Aug 2005 - Back from Kingston

We stayed at the Pegasus Hotel, one of the top two hotels in Kingston. It was acceptable, but for $160 US per night, I thought it was a bit expensive. Rooms were average for a motel 6, but the hotel amenities were better. I was surprised to pay that much, as back home a hotel like that would be around $80-90 US. I thought we would pay less, as it is usual in a country like Jamaica for things to be less expensive due to lower labour costs. The wife and I paid $18 US a night for a place in downtown Bangkok on our honeymoon. My room was only marginally better at the Pegasus. The only difference I noticed was that the Pegasus has free porn.

Our hotel is in a great location, directly across from Emancipation Park and in the middle of just about anywhere you would want to go. Later Saturday night one of the local JDF officers took us out to a few clubs. We ended up at this place called the Quad, which was pretty packed. I would like to bring the wife there when she comes to visit. I don’t think we have been to a dance club together ever. The place seemed perfect, everyone having a good time.

Near the end of the night the guys wanted to check out the local strip bar called Taboo, which is conveniently located around the back of the Quad. We got there just before closing so only saw about 3 dancers. This place only goes topless, which is probably a government rule. What was more surprising was that all the girls were white. Apparently they are all Russians. It is a bit strange to come all the way to Jamaica, a place where white people are more rare than any other race is in Canada, and see white girls at a strip bar. Many Jamaicans are more religious than Canadians, so there may be more of a stigma to being a stripper here than back home. However, due to the level of poverty in Jamaica, I doubt that is the reason. It probably has more to do with seeing something you do not usually see.

On a personal note, I think the first three weeks of being away are the hardest. After that you get used to it and separation becomes a bit easier. Back in school in introduction to psychology, Maslow’s hierarchy of needs claims that sex is a basic need, one that must be fulfilled before other, higher needs can be met. Not sure if I ever agreed with him, but I am testing the theory.

I will keep you updated on my research.

Removing Anon Comments

I have decided to require people to register in order to comment. I seem to be getting a number of comments that are not comments but ads. I wasn't aware that putting ads in the comments of blogs, especially small ones, was going on. I hope forcing people to register will minimize that.

Jamaica - 19 Aug 2005 – One down, 16 to go

Well, that’s the end of week one. Rather uneventful. Today the last 4 students and instructor showed up, so we are now at full capacity. I have two lectures next week, which I am already prepared for. The week was probably a bit easy for the students. Mostly language tests or instruction, combined with films on management and how to run meetings, that sort of stuff. It will get more challenging for them. They have 13 hours of homework this weekend. I am not so busy. To be honest, I am a bit underutilized right now, which is the reason I am done all my work days in advance. I need to find something to do. That is in addition to all the stuff I am doing so far. I need to find a hobby.

We are soon to go down the hill to spend the weekend in Kingston. We have a military meet and greet at the officer’s mess at Up Park Camp tonight and another, small one at the Canadian High Commission on Saturday. This will be the first night I will spend out of the camp and my first day off since I arrived almost three weeks ago. I am looking forward to some time spent in the pool, and seeing a bit of town. I also need to buy so stuff. I forgot my nail clippers. One of my baby toenails is threatening to poke its way out of my boot.

Jamaica – 14 Aug 2005 - GO!

Tomorrow the course starts. I spent the entire weekend, Saturday and Sunday, working. There was not much to do, be we had to ensure a bunch of small things were finished and any last minute problems were sorted out.

The party at the British High Commission was pretty good. We got to take a JDF helicopter from Newcastle Hill to Up Park Camp, the base in Kingston. A 1 hour drive on dangerous roads converts to a 6 minute helicopter ride. The pilot was showing off a bit, pulling a steep bank into his landing. My stomach was in my throat, but it was fun.

Tonight we had a Meet and Greet with the students. I monopolized three of them for a bit telling them my views on government, why it is corrupt, etc. Once again, a staff member came to interrupt me and save them. This same guy did the same thing last week when I was boring a Colonel. He seems to sense when I am running off at the mouth. I now know anytime he shows up it is my cue to leave.

I have to watch my tendency to monopolize conversations.

Jamaica – 11 Aug 2005 - Are you sitting comfortably? Then let us begin.

Things are starting to come together around here. Foreign students are beginning to arrive and the administrative and logistical aspects are coming together. My boss is not happy, as everything that is still being done was completed by this time last year. It’s not as perfect as it should be, but it looks like everything will be done on or close to deadlines.

There is usually a bit of a superior attitude in first world militaries. We see any problems not as simple problems inherent in military operations (there is always some) but as a reflection of the military we are dealing with. A problem or mistake is sometimes taken as a sign the military personnel of that country are lazy or incompetent while our mistakes are just errors. This bit of cultural superiority is something you have to guard against or it will subtly colour your attitude, the host country will pick up on it and affect your relations and ability to work with people. The point I am making is universal and can be applied to almost any group. I have seen this happen between agencies in Canada, such as between the military and RCMP. I have found the best thing to do is to take a relaxed approach and reserve judgement. When working in a different culture, be prepared for things to be run in a way which your cultural biases may consider inferior. I find this clash of cultures all very interesting.

I called the wife last night and she answered. She is a mind reader. Before I made a comment about her not being home the other night, she explained where she was and what she was doing. I don’t want you to get the wrong impression. I am not a jealous guy. I trust my wife and I feel very secure in our relationship. It still needs to be maintained, but I am not worried. These comments about jealousy and being suspicious are really part of a little game we play. I get to be the macho, jealous husband and she the hot wife that every other man must be after. We are not your average young newlyweds. We both have had enough relationships before we met to know what we want in a partner. She is very independent and she would not have married me if she didn’t want to. Due to our age and experience, I tend to believe that our relationship rests on a stronger base than your average 20-something married couple.

However, I could be wrong. If I examine it closely I guess there are reasons other than love for us to be married. I was planning of getting out of the army when we met and getting married allowed me to put off getting a real job. And she was not exactly a spring chicken when we met. It could be said I saved her from a life as a spinster with a rapidly increasing family of cats and I at least dampened the strident ticking of her biological clock. Maybe I was just the nearest one around when the ticking became too loud.

Note to self: Call friends and have wife followed.

Jamaica - 10 Aug 2005 – Contacting home

I finally got my cell phone last night. The way the system works, you do not pay for incoming calls. Mine is meant primarily for business, so standard operating procedure is to call home and have them call you right back. The Caribbean is considered part of the US/North America by the phone system, so no country code, etc is required, which makes it convenient. I called the wife last night but no answer. I cannot think where she might be at 9 pm on a Tuesday. Having my neighbour shoot any strange men around the house may not be enough. I forgot that she is able to leave the house.

I may have to get some army buddies to follow her.

Jamaica – 6 Aug 2005 – Happy Independence Day

Today was a bit of a let down compared to Friday. No hobnobbing with the mighty and important of the JDF Military or foreign diplomats. Just down to the work of preparing for the course. I spent most of the day tackling the mountain of reading material I am required to be familiar with for the course. The remainder of the DS (Directing Staff) started to come in today. The Canadians came in late in today, the Brit and American are due tomorrow and the JDF DS on Monday. Still no idea when the Guyanise DS is coming. He seems to be having some sort of problem getting authorization. No one is sure what that means. In addition, we are having communications problems. A hurricane several weeks ago knocked out the telephone lines. We have no internet or voice landline communications. Our only comms is by cell phone, which is intermittent in our location.

It has now been one week since I left Alberta. I have not talked to the wife since I got here to tell her I am ok. With us, no news is good news, so she should not be concerned. However, it would be nice to let her know.

Today is Jamaican Independence Day. In 1962, Jamaica received its independence from Britain. It’s a big holiday in Jamaica. Want to know anything about it, don’t ask me. I spent the day working. Our support staff, all from the JDF were all celebrating the holiday, so camp improvements were not getting done.

Monday is going to be a busy day.

Jamaica – 4 Aug 2005 – 1 – 25:47

Today I met my enemy. The road to Catherine’s Peak is a winding, 1.5 km track that averages a 45 degree incline. It is nasty. Not only did I just about have a heart attack, the road actually tries to psych you out. Just when you think it might be over, you find another bend which takes you up at an even sharper angle.

I thought that I would have to stop at least one and probably several times to rest on the way up. I made it without stopping, except for the 5 seconds it took to avoid the local truck that just about killed me. It took me 25 minutes and 47 seconds to walk up it with a total time of 55:15. Yes, I took longer going down than up. Going down, while not harder physically, is actually more dangerous. It would be very easy to slip or fall, and that would be it.

Overall, I am happy with my first time. I am not exactly at my ideal weight and I have not been exercising regularly. My goal is to lose 15 pounds to take me to 200. That is my minimum. If I can drop another 10 after that I would be very satisfied. Another 15 after that would be perfect, but I haven’t weighted 175 since I was 15 years old, so that is probably unattainable.

If I keep up with the walk each day, I will be down to 200 by the end of the month. What with the constant sweating in the heat, drinking 5 times the water I usually do, and the mediocre food, 200 should be easy. After that, who knows? It would be nice to use this time to get back in shape. There is a bit of pride involved as well. My boss, who has 40 years in the Army (that means he is in his late 50’s), did the peak 205 times last year. That does not include the 11 times before the students arrived.

With all the PT, my stamina should be great by the time I get home. Bad news for the wife, as it means even longer lovemaking sessions.

Jamaica - 31 July 2005 - On the way

The journey begins early Sunday morning. I leave a day early so I can spend some time with my family outside of Toronto. My niece is having her 3rd birthday.
The first problem crops up immediately. The airline claims that no extra baggage is allowed to Jamaica during my flight. I am willing to pay, but that doesn't matter. I make phone calls, talk to people at the airline, and get no satisfaction. I decide to show up to at the counter and buff my way through. They get me to pay and that is it.

All that for nothing.

Jamaica – 5 Aug 2005 – Doing the rounds

Today was a very interesting day. I tagged along with my boss on a number of courtesy calls. We met with the Detachment Commander, who is the officer who runs the station where the course is conducted. In addition to having us on his base, Newcastle Hill, he runs a number of basic training courses for the JDF. This includes their basic recruit training and junior NCO training.

The remainder of the people we had to meet were in Kingston. This entailed a one hour drive down a windy, narrow road where collision or a plunge off the side to your death is a real possibility. The situation is worse than normal due to the hurricane which passed through a few weeks ago. In places, the road looks as if a giant hand scooped out huge parts of the road, removing the low walls on the side that help to prevent people from going over the side. The drop over the side is as far as 700 meters down in one place.

Once in Kingston, we went to Up Park Camp, which is the military base in the city. There I met the incoming Commandant for the course. The base houses 3 Infantry Battalions of the JDF, as well as the Combat Engineers and various other support units.

The most interesting visit was to see the Defence Attache at the British High Commission. The Colonel is an interesting guy. Very hospitable and, I am told, has been very helpful and supportive to this course. I got invited to some type of party next Thursday night.

I wonder what I am supposed to wear?

The focus of this site is about to change

Two weeks after moving into our new home, I am leaving my wife of 4 months for 4 months.

Canada has a program called MTAP (Military Training Assistance Program) where we help train military personnel from other countries. For the past 12 years, we have sent a small number of military members to Jamaica to run a course for junior officers from a number of Carribean countries. This year I volunteered to be one of those people.

This job is a great opportunity, one which the wife insisted I take. I almost did not. Leaving the wife alone for 4 months was a factor in considerations of whether or not to go. However, a number of factors mitigate this. The wife survived for 30+ years without me, so I figure she can take care of herself. Also, our neighbours are nice people and have agreed to help her out. My neighbour also agreed to shoot any strange men he sees around the property, at my behest.

The biggest factor in going or staying was selfish. I did not want to leave my land. I love our new place and cannot wait to trim trees, cut grass and fix things. I think I am entering a nurturing phase.

In the end, the need for green trumped all. It is also a good experience for me and the wife will get a free flight which we will use to holiday in the area.

So this site will focus more on my experiences with the JDF (Jamaican Defence Force) over the next 4 months. Rest assured, I am sure there will still be some good fights with the wife about a number of things I won't be able to control.

I bet the cats are already sleeping on my side of the bed.

Update 7 Sept 2005: Still no landline up to Newcastle Hill. I will try to post, but don't be surprised if a few backdated posts go up at odd times.

The House Saga - Part 3

Continued from this post.

So, I was a bit frustrated. I had spent 5 days, at least 6 hours each day over the last 2 weeks looking at houses. I had seen every house in the area that had even remote potential. I had tried to find a house that met both of our desires and needs, a house that could become a home to raise our family. Her response to my picks was a "blah".

On a side note, our real estate agent has the patience of a saint. Anyone else would have dumped us by day 3. I highly recommend her if you are moving to the Edmonton area. Tell her the crazy 60 houses couple sent you.

Our agent did not give up. A few days later we went back to the drawing board. I was determined that we would see all future houses together, for my own sanity. The next day we saw 3 houses, without the wife who had to work late at the last minute. Nothing good anyway. The next night we saw 5 houses. The fourth one was it. As Linda said, when you see it you will know it. We knew it. We still did see the fifth house, on my insistence, but after that one we went to Timmies to write up an offer. By 11:30 pm, the offer was in. There was a counter and a counter-counter, but I knew the deal was done, as we were very close (less than 1%) to what they asked.

We moved in on 15 July.

The house is not perfect. It is over 30 years old, and doesn't have a master bathroom. However, the positives more than make up for it. The night we moved in, we ate dinner in the sunroom and watched the deer eat our neighbour's canola. It is secluded, has 6 bedrooms, and lots of land to do whatever we want. I few days ago I bought a small garden tractor and now consider myself a true Albertan. I love the place and considered giving up a job to stay there this summer.

Finding a house is a bit like finding love. You know it the right one when you see it.

"I thought you were dead"

Well, I am not.

We moved on July 15 and our internet access has been down since then (2 weeks? that is another story). In addition, many other things are going on, which I will get to later.

Just want to let everyone know that I am now ready to resume posting on this site. I will be finishing up the house saga, will (hopefully) finish up the stuff on our honeymoon and I have something quite different going on to tell you about.

Stay tuned.

London and the Big Picture

I have never been much of a details guys. I prefer the big picture stuff, so I do not have much to say about the London attacks. I am more interested in how this event affects how the war is fought, as opposed to who did it, what they did and how many died.

Trodwell on Right Thinking People has a great post on this sort of thing.

Since they have no comments and do not leave an email address, this is the only way to let him know his post it great.

Trod, great post.

Gay Marriage

This post from Right Thinking People does a great job of summarizing the anti-SSM position. Of particular note is this portion:

...the Charter is about equality of treatment under the law. This can be achieved by amending legislation and regulations to permit homosexuals to enjoy all of the legal rights and privileges enjoyed by married couples, without either making marriage a Charter right, thereby threatening religious organizations and attacking the preferences of the majority. It would be easy to guarantee substantive equality under the law vis-a-vis marriage for homosexuals, without calling it “marriage” and without making it a Charter matter and subjecting churches to lawsuits, harassment and intimidation.

My question: Why isn’t the Government taking this route?

Good points.

Update: More good points from The Politic on SSM

The House Saga - Part 2

Continued from this post.

We had no choice but to look for another place to live. The search was complicated but the fact that the wife had to go on a 2 week business trip. With only six weeks before we were to move, we needed a place fast. We could not wait two weeks for her to return before starting our search. However, there was no way that I would buy a place without her ok. We are hoping to live in this new house for the next 20 years and raise our children there. I could not take 20 years of her always reminding me of how I made a bad choice.

Since I would not buy without her, we thought I could use the time to see some of the houses and get rid of the unacceptable ones. In addition to looking for what I liked, I had to keep in mind what she wanted. Right now, we live in a townhouse condo. It is a great size for us, but anything more than 2 kids over 5 years old and it would get a bit crowded. Also, our yard is about the size of a postage stamp. She wants to have a garden. All that, combined with my need to build a bunker to stop the government from trying to take our stuff, led us to want an acreage. There were two things the wife insisted on. She likes privacy. Many of the new acreages are in what amounts to large subdivisions. She wanted lots of trees and privacy. Also, she wanted to be as close to town as possible. I am most concerned about buying a quality house, so I was looking towards something newer. We both prefer newer styles, (ie bigger kitchens). Unfortunately, her 2 requirements tend to be mutually exclusive. The closer to town, the more likely they have less land and less trees. Farther out, more trees.

After two weeks of looking I had seen about 60 houses. I have seen about every acreage in the area and I know more about what is available then most real estate agents.

By the time she returned, I had narrowed it down to the best 7. Of those, I had 2 which I liked. The two were not perfect, one was far away from the city, the other was close but not as treed as she wanted. Life is made of compromises. The clock was ticking, it was time to compromise.

Guess what? She did not like any of them. In fact, she hated my first choice. She would not even consider it. My second choice sold the day before she go back.

Back to the drawing board.

To be continued...

I am an Insensitive Jerk

This incident took place because of the cat.

The cat is old. He is at least fourteen, maybe older. The Wife rescued him when he was five, so she has had him for a long time. Lately he has been going downhill. In the last few months he has been snorting and snuffling around, as if he has trouble breathing. He is sleeping more than normal. He has little interest in his toys. And the big sign is his lack of appetite. This is a cat who would almost trip me getting to his bowl at feeding time. In the last 3 months, he has lost about 2 pounds. This is a lot for a 12 pound cat. Anyway, we have long suspected something was wrong. The Wife has been using the internet and came up with a bunch of possible problems, one of them being cancer.

As I have said, the cat is old. We have discussed what to do about him. My feeling is that, as long as he is not in too much pain, we should let him live out his natural life. His quality of life is still good, as far as I can tell. He gets 4 meals a day, almost daily brushing by me, he sleeps almost wherever he wants, can leave the house to sit in the sun or smell stuff, sounds like a perfect cat life. I do not want to put him down. Let him enjoy that for the few months or maybe years he has left. Although he was initially a pain in the ass when we started dating, I feel that he is now one of the family and is entitled to live out his life. However, there is a limit to what we will to for him. The Wife and I have discussed this numerous times and we both agree. A friend of hers had a dog that had cancer. This dog went to cancer specialists and had treatment. When that didn't work, the dog even saw people who specialized in "alternate cancer therapy". These are the ones that give you herbs, wave a magic wand, say prayers, that kind of stuff. Of course, none of this worked and the dog died. Just to give you more of an idea of how far a pet owner can go, the dog was cremated and his ashes sit in a prominent place in the living room beside his picture. We will not go that far. What is the point of spending hundred or thousands of dollars to put the cat through all sorts of pain, discomfort and stress which, at best, may extend his life for a few months, and at worst, make those extra few months a living hell. So we decided, no invasive procedures.

I thought this was very clear. We had spoken about it a few times, we both agreed.

During the visit the cat was weighed, poked, squeezed, had an rectal exam and had blood taken from his neck. I wonder how something very old, possessing the emotional maturity of a 2 year old child in a situation with little control and lacking the ability to fathom what is going on will react? As expected, the cat freaked out. He got so stressed he was panting. The vet stopped trying to examine him as he thought the cat might die of a heart attack (not good for business). At this point we had spent $225 and still did not have x-rays (another $200). The vet could not find anything wrong. Blood tests were negative. With the cat being stressed, the fact we figure he is not long for this world, having no desire to make his life more unpleasant that required, I spoke to the vet. In my crude way, I tried to question the requirement for x-rays. I was not keen to spend another $200 to find nothing. Even if we did find something (say cancer, tumor, etc) we had already decided that we would not get some big operation, so what was the point?

Wrong question. The Wife gets very upset and starts to cry. Now, if you know the wife, you know she is not one to show her emotions very often. Part of what attracted me to her was the fact that she was less emotional and sentimental than the stereotypical woman. She was practical. She did not want a $7,000 engagement ring. She doesn't expect me to romance her all the time. This has, on occasion, backfired on me. When I try to do something nice, like buy her jewelry, she is not as impressed as I would like.

Back to the story. The Wife is crying and is obviously upset. Since she doesn't get that upset very often, I start to get concerned. Since we are discussing something we have agreed upon in the past, (i.e. how we are going to deal with the cat) it can't be about that. The vet leaves and I try to comfort my wife asking her why she is upset. Her reply gives us the title to this post "Because you are an insensitive jerk".

Of course, I do not understand. Further attempts to explain myself only make it worse. I must accept the fact that I am an Insensitive Jerk.

It is a long, quiet ride home.

In addition to being an Insensitive Jerk, I must take the cat back to the vet for the x-ray, which will probably show nothing. Also, the wife is concerned that the vet's feelings might be hurt, as she thinks the vet may mistakenly think that she was crying because he could not do/find anything wrong with the cat. I must explain to him that she was not upset because of that, but because I am an Insensitive Jerk.

The cat and I leave in a few hours. I can't wait.

Update 29 June:

Guess what, the x-rays found.....nothing. However, the blood tests were not ok, he has high levels of potash and sodium in his blood, whatever that means. I guess less salt on his fish and chips....

The vet wants him in early tomorrow so they can look at him again.

Money spent on cat "health care" in the last 12 months:

Sept 2004 - $800
Jun 2005 - - $365 (plus whatever they add on tomorrow)

The Wife just hung up on me!

This relates to the saga of the house.

I was trying to get out of the house yesterday, as I had 3 very important things to do, two of them related to the house and one to a very interesting job opportunity, which I will relate to you in the near future.

So, I am in the middle of changing and the phone rings. It is our morgage broker with a bunch of things he needs to get our morgage. This is a bit of a pain, as I have been trying to get various paperwork for him. This is the second change to what docs are needed in as many days. The bank seems to be jerking us around a bit.

Just as I hang up the phone it rings again. It is the wife. She has two things to do today. She needs to get some basic information from a bank about their services which we are thinking of switching to. This is not that important. The second thing is to get informantion about a morgage she has (monthly payments, taxes, etc). This is very important, as the conditions for our morgage had to come off that day.

When she calls, I will admit that I was a bit frustrated. I had been trying to get out of the house to get this stuff done and the phone kept ringing. She proceeds to start to tell me about her morgage info over the phone so I can call back the morgage guy and pass on the numbers to him. I say that I just got off the phone with him, and why do I need these numbers? We need a copy of the information and I have just been through the morgage documents she left for me and cannot find the info. She says she doesn't have the info on a form and she will have to go back to the bank now, pay $10 for a statement, she is busy at work and just spent a long time at the bank and that I did not tell her we needed a statement, etc.

Here I am trying to get my stuff done and I have to waste my time listening to someone else complain? I have about 10 times as much stuff to do and her complaining is just making it harder to get it done. Now, perhaps I was a bit too sarcastic, but I replied "Oh, so I guess it's my fault?"

Her reply: "Fine" and she hung up.

Was I too sarcastic. Maybe, but come on. This is the year 2005. Does she really think the morgage guy is going to take our word that we owe X dollars? We told him months ago what our general financial situation was. Now its crunch time and he wants to see proof. Did I really have to spell that our for her? Yes, they want proof in the form of D-O-C-U-M-E-N-T-S. The day when a person's word meant something to the banks is long past. Can you imagine me talking to the bank:

Me: I have lots of money so give me a loan for whatever I want.
Bank: Who are you again, sir?
Me: I am Bill Gates. I have billions. Perhaps you have heard of me?
Bank: Yes sir, Mr Gates. Anything you want. No proof is necessary for you, sir!
Me: I'll take one of those candies.
Bank: Here you go, sir.

It's my fault I did not specifically say to her "We need that in writing". I assumed (never assume, it makes an ass of u and me) that the wife would understand that the bank wants PROOF. I guess from now on I will have to assume that things that are blindingly obvious to everyone else may not be to my wife.

Must call the wife at work right now to remind her to breathe.

Update: Delicious! Last night when we met our broker, we had all the right docs EXCEPT the one the wife was supposed to bring. She had to drive back to the house to get it. Of course, it was my fault.

The House Saga - Part 1

Background

This started about a year and a half ago. I guy the wife and I know was looking to sell his cats only kennel. I was getting out of the military and was tired of working for "the man". We considered buying his business. He was a bit dismissive when we spoke to him about it, so we sat on the idea while I considered other options.

About 6 months ago we decided to get more serious. We approached him again and he was much more receptive. We started to make plans and we considered selling my house, as his business is attached to his home and he wanted to sell both. As we spoke to him more, I did not get good feelings about the financial situation. I felt he was not being up front about how much money the business made and I started to question if the deal was something we should do. These questions led to this post, when the wife accused me of trying to back out of the deal and not "finishing" anything.

To anyone who may not know, we decided not to buy this business. The final straw came when, after telling this guy several times that we wanted to see proper financial statements (and he would just show us his wife's tax return), we have a lunch meeting for him to give us the statements. Much to our surprise, he pulls out a real estate agreement and proceeds to start filling it out with how much we are going to pay, the conditions, etc. We had given him conditions and more info months ago and he was to use it to write up an agreement which I was then going to take to our lawyer. Yet it was down to crisis time and he still had not done this stuff. That, plus him constantly telling me I did not need to see financial statements, I did not need a lawyer, etc, finally was too much to bear. Actually, I would have ended the whole thing sooner, but the wife wanted to do it, and it took me a while convince her that the alarm bells screaming in my head should be heeded.

This decision put us in a bit of a bind. We had put up and sold our house as a sign of good faith and fully planning to move and take over this business. Now we had an agreement to sell, no place to live and 6 weeks to find something.

To be continued...

Funny stuff from the Arch Enemy

Not to give my arch enemy more traffic, but he has a good summary post on the Darwin Awards.

The Crazy Lefties are Everywhere

Its not just the famous lefties, such a Howard Dean, that engage their mouth before using their brain.

I had quite the experience the other day. I was standing on my lawn talking to my neighbour "Gary". He is a recently retired oil patch worker and is not very interested in politics. In fact, I could not even get him to come to a condo meeting to vote for me when I ran, even though he supported me. He has views on politics, but he one of those guys who worries about himself and doesn't stick his nose into other peoples business. A Libertarian who doesn't know he is one.

As we are standing there talking about something, this handyman drives up, gets out of his truck and begins to talk to us. He is 66 years old and is used on occasion to fix things around the complex. He knows the complex better than anyone. How do I know this? Because this is the first thing he tells us.

I have lived in our condo for 8 years and Gary for 12 years. I was also on the condo board for over 1 year. I do not recognize this guy. Not to say that he is lying, but he is not one of those guys who everyone knows. He just comes up to us, interrupts what we are discussing and starts telling us his life story, not so much as an introduction. He does not know me well enough to do that and I find it a bit rude. To add to the rudeness, it is one of those one way conversations, where he talks and requires no input from you. I can take that. My mother taught me to be polite to people, especially my elders, even if they do not give you the same courtesy.

However, then he goes in politics. Bush is evil, those damn Americans, blah, blah, blah, blahblah.

Why do people do this? Are they dumb? The last thing I do when meeting someone new is start talking about controversial topics with someone you just met (or in this guy's case, didn't even meet yet). I mean, you don't go up to some person you just met at a party and start talking about how the Joooooooossss are ruining the world. Though it is fun to watch when one person pipes up and says "I am Jewish".

I did something like that once, where a guy made some joke about my mother. You know, one of those dumb jokes you are always hearing black comedians make. After he was done, I looked him in the eye and with a straight face, said "My mother's dead". Of course, she isn't, but you should have seen the look on the guys face. He almost fell over himself trying to apologize. But I digress.

I think it is a lefty trait to assume that your views are so correct that everyone agrees with them. The wife does this as well. Just a few weeks ago we are meeting our real estate agent to look at houses. We meet her at this big church in Sherwood Park. Now, most of you Ontario types think that Alberta is populated with these huge churches a la Jim and Tammy Faye Baker. Nothing could be further from the truth. Alberta may seem to be more Bible thumping than Ontario, but big church bible thumpers are rare, at least around Edmonton. But I will admit, this church is big. It does have a school and community centre attached, which accounts for most of the size, but it does convey that born again Christian, hallelujah type religious thing. I noticed this too, but being polite and having just met this real estate agent, I am not going to mention anything about it. Not so the wife. We get in the car and the second thing out of her mouth is some comment about the crazy religious people and their crazy big church. Well guess what. The real estate agent, although she does not go to that church, belongs to the same religion and goes to church in Fort Saskatchewan.

Back to the old guy. Once he starts going off about Bush and the war in Iraq and how the damn Americans push us around, I just about lose it. I mean, this is Alberta. This is the last place in Canada where you would think a guy would assume everyone would agree with his lefty views. This in not downtown Vancouver, ffs. So, I decide to take him to task. What I usually do in these situations is take on a position which doesn't directly contradict their assertions, but takes it to an extreme. So I tell the guy that I think Canadians are wimps. It's our own fault for letting the Americans push us around and we should build up our army, invade the bastards and nuke the hell out of them. Teach them a lesson, yes sir.

I would have been more satisfied if his jaw had dropped and he stared at me dumbfounded, but the guy just kept going. I don't think he really wanted, or needed for that matter, me around for him to talk. About this time my neighbour broke in and started to ask the guy what work he was doing, etc, thereby saving the conversation from degenerating further.

If one Lefty learned to engage brain before opening mouth, my good deed was done for that day.

Now if the wife would only learn.

The Beginning of the End for Libs

Liberal MP Pat O'Brien has left the Liberal Caucus to sit as an independent over what he perceives to be a rush to pass SSM legislation without adequate consultation.

Perhaps I am wrong. There are some Liberals who have ethics.

Mr. O'Brien is not leaving over the sponsorship scandal or the bribing of opposition MP's, but its a start.

Note that he was in talks with the Conservatives and on that, we have this quote "In the end, I felt that it was not enough for me to move to the Conservative Party".

Seems a bit ambiguous. Not sure how I would take that statement.

Deep Throat

With the revel that Deep Throat was the No. 2 man at the FBI, W. Mark Felt, there has been a lot of discussion about Watergate. I must admit, I have no deep knowledge about the subject, but have probably know more about it since my degree is in History and I focused more on Western histroy.

The majority perception about events in history are rarely true, as I found out from research I did on the Vietnam War. As an example, due to the media attention on draft dodging, I always thought that it was a huge problem for the US Government and I guessed that thousands, perhaps tens of thousands burned draft cards. However, history matches our perception. For example, if I remember correctly, there were only between 100-200 draft cards burned during the war, far less then I thought based on my perceptions from movies.

I mention this because it marks the start of my skepticism towards "facts" that our society takes for granted. Watergate is one that I have always been suspicious. The general feeling, from my perception, was always that Nixion was an evil man and that two heroic journalists had managed to root out this corruption. How much of this is true. It appears Deep Throat (Mark Felt) may have been motivated by anger at Nixion for passing him over for the top FBI job after Hoover died and not because of some great love of his country.

For a more typical view on this event, try this article

Here are a few people that have a more, shall we say, non-PC view of Mark Felt:

This article by Mark Steyn

And this by Adam Yoshida

Or this

Update: More on the effects of Watergate on Journalism in this post at Captain's Quarters.

Some Misc Stuff

A few sites that I consider interesting:

Adam Yoshida always has a take on global events sure to be different from the mainstream.

Blame Bush is very funny (at least I think he is trying to be).

Even More Media Bias

This is quite interesting. From the politic:

CBC's "Forensic Expert Turns out to be Record Producer with Government Contracts

I will leave you to draw your own conclusions.

Paul Martin should resign

I am calling on the Prime Minister of Canada to resign.

The professionals seem to always say it better thank I can. Andrew Coyne has this excellent column on the Grewal tapes.

On the criminality of the situation:

...we have a right to expect more of people in public life than that they should not actually commit any crimes. ... it is abundantly clear (assuming the tapes have been accurately transcribed) that they were flouting the intent of the law. They were promising “rewards” -- Cabinet appointments, diplomatic postings, Senate seats, all were discussed -- to the Grewals if they abstained from voting against the government in the confidence vote.

Who is responsible:

...It was not, then, cash on the barrel. It was a promissory note, backed by the full faith and credit of the Prime MinisterÂ’s chief of staff -- and by extension, the Prime Minister himself. [emphasis added]

And on what the government minister should have done:

...Ethically, they are forbidden, not only from making explicit promises of public offices in exchange for an MPÂ’s vote, but from any tacit understanding to that effect; they are required, not only to refrain from deliberately creating such an impression, but to take care that they do not do so inadvertently.

The conclusion:

By whatever standard, they have failed in their duties. Their final responsibility, accordingly, is to submit their resignations, at least pending the resolution of opposition complaints to the ethics commissioner and the RCMP. If they will not do so of their own accord, it is the Prime MinisterÂ’s responsibility to demand it of them. And if he will not do so, or give a fuller explanation of his own involvement in this squalid affair, then it is his resignation that should be demanded next.

I say it is too late. As the Prime Minister, Paul Martin should do the right thing and resign due to his failure to uphold the standards of ethical behaviour required for Members of Parliament within his CabinetcaucusCacus. Mr. Dosanjh should also resign for his part in this affair. In addition, it is clear to me that the "rewards" and the procedures for dealing with the aftermath were used with others who crossed the floor. Therefore, I call upon Belinda Stronach, Scott Brison and Ujjal Dosanjh (again) to resign.

You heard it here first.

Update: Let it Bleed seems to agree and points out a story by Chantel Hebert where she states that Liberal solidarity may be crumbling.

Spin...What the Liberals do best

More examples of media bias.

Note this article in the Globe and Mail. While the first paragraph is about how PMPM is ignoring calls for resignations, the second talks about how "allegations that the tapes are doctored are disturbing". Of course they are disturbing. Anytime someone like the Prime Minister claims something is doctored when it is not, is very disturbing. Note that PMPM says the claims are disturbing, not that the tapes are doctored.

A Conservative MP says the Libs tried to bribe him, everyone ignores it. A Conservative MP has tapes of Libs tiptoeing around a discussion about buying his vote, and the story is about how there is no clear proof. The Libs say the tapes are doctored without offering any proof other than their say-so and doctored tapes is the main thrust of the story?

Seems like we need a Canadian version of FOX News just to provide some balance.

Update: Why is there media bias? Is it a big conspiracy? Read Lorne Gunter's explaination here. It makes sense to me. However, since people will always have some sort of bias or identify more with one side or the other, the only solution is one that is used in our courts everyday. The adversarial approach. We need media in this country that are unapologetically right wing to counter the hidden left wing agenda of the present media (not counting you, Mr. Gunter, or AC).

When the cat is away......

The wife is away for 2 weeks on a business trip.

I am actually enjoying myself. When the wife is here, we have to have dinner. Dinner to me is grabbing something from the fridge, say 3 frozen burritos, nuking them and covering them with salsa. The wife does not think this is acceptable. Dinner must include a side dish and some sort of vegetables. I can also let the house get a bit disorganized. Usually she is the one that contributes most to that disorganization. With her gone, it is not as messy and I can avoid that "you did not clean anything today and you are still in your pajamas" look, which I always get when she returns from work.

However, I think the cats are starting to miss her. Well, one of them anyway. The younger female cat doesn't care much for people, so she probably doesn't care, but the male is a different story. He is older and today started to bug me for attention. He usually sleeps all day, moving from one spot to the next. Today he started begging for more attention than is usual. I had to spend an inordinate amount of time petting and brushing him, speaking it soothing tones and telling him "Don't worry. Mommy will be back soon." If I don't, he will constantly meow and try to rub against me until he gets what he wants. I hope kids are not this annoying.

The cat likes to drink water from the dripping bathtub (It is actually quite funny. He gets the water in his nose then snuffs and snorts like some old man). If he gets too annoying, perhaps I can arrange a little "accident" involving the tub and water.

The cat has a new favourite spot, which is right beside the desk where I type this blog. He is already settled in and snoring away like my father.

I think I need to get out of the house.

More on the Grewal Tapes

Check out this column by Andrew Coyne on the tapes. If you have any doubt on how the Liberals operate, this should dispel it.

Did anyone see the CBC last night? They are so pro Liberal it makes me sick. Peter did that "interview our own reporter" thing and the "questions" he asked seemed like something off the desk of the Liberal Communications department desk. Their main point was that, actually, nothing was offered.

AC does a great job destroying this point in the above column.