Sunday, August 13, 2006

How do you solve a problem like Jehovah?

We are having a little problem.

Jehovah's Witnesses have been visiting our house. Every Saturday, between 10 and 11 am, they show up without fail.

We live in a secluded area. Our house in hidden by 300m of trees. Our house coud be blown up and you could not tell from the main road.

Due to our seclusion, my first instinct when I hear a car coming up the driveway is to meet whomever it is with a shotgun in hand. We haven't got a dog yet (not sure if I want to deal with twins and a dog at the same time), but once we do, I will feel a bit more comfortable.

Don't get me wrong, we live in a nice area and have never had a break in or heard of one in the area. However, on 2 occasions, a car has driven up to the house, turned around and left. Both times I was not fast enough to confront them, but only caught a glimpse as they left.

I am a nice guy, so I do not want to be rude to the Jehovahs. They are really nice people and are very earnest in their beliefs. However, I already have one religion I am not practicing, and if I felt a need for religion, I would become a more active Catholic and not convert.

I like to argue and explore new ideas, and I actually enjoy hearing their view of the world. However, I am afriad I am being a tease. If you engage these people, they will keep coming back. I do not want to lead them on, thinking I am serious about a religion I consider to be just this side of a cult.

Last week the wife and I hid from them. I dislike people coming to my home uninvited to sell me something. This week, they saw me watching tv, so I answered the door. A man should not be a prisoner in his own home.

I enjoy my weekend, I do not want each one interupted by someone trying to sell me something. We left the city to get more privacy.

The wife has some relatives that are Jehovahs, so we are pretty sure it is not for us.

The question is, how do we let them know that they are wasting their time without being rude?


Tamara said...

If you find out, I'd love to know. They have been coming to our place for months on end and I'm out of practice with religious solicitors since we lived in a locked apartment building before.

I've started either not answering the door if I know it's them, even if they know I am home, or cutting them off very abruptly if I get fooled into opening the door. Keeping the outer screen door locked is very handy for this purpose as they cannot do anything about me shutting the door on them after I say that I don't want to talk.

I hate to be rude but months of being polite has gotten me nowhere.

Kim said...

I had them come to my house once last year...and they haven't come back. I didn't try to be rude, but they may have perceived it that way.

I just told them that I was a Christian...that I knew what I believed and what they believed and there was no way they were going to change my mind about my good-bye. They left and I haven't seen them since.

Maybe if you tell them (firmly) that you're Catholic (they don't need to know you're not an "active" Catholic) and that you're not going to convert, they might leave you alone.

Anonymous said...

I am one of those "Jehovah's" as you call us. I can tell you that if you dont want us to visit you then just say. Honesty is best. If you like having a conversations every once in awhile just to hear our viewpoint then tell them that. We are more than willing to work around your schedule. If you dont like weekends than say come visit me during the week. And I can assure you that they will definitely appriciate your kindness when you decide to tell them whatever it is you are feeling. Being polite will get you somewhere as long as you are being honest. How would you feel if you were the one on the other side of the door and someone was rude? I mean you live out in the rurals and they are driving all that way out there to visit you. You know how much gas cost these days? I am just sayin... This is in no way meant to be rude, please dont take it that way.

jun f (manila) said...

We are just obeying what Jesus told in the Bible.

You may not believe us, as well as the ROMANS during Jesus' time. Even the brothers and sisters of Jesus did not believe that he was the Messiah.

It would be unjust if we judge a religious belief if we do not know what transpired them.

I may be a stranger to you but why not ask any of them even ONCE. There is no commitment to what we preach. We DO NOT convert people to change their beliefs.

You may be annoyed but we love to tell the plans of GOD's KINGDOM.

You can run but you cannot hide. See, even here on the Internet we do not stop because we live on the last days. There is no time to spare.

We believe that every human has the right to know what is good for them. People have been rude to us, that's a fact. We just let it go and we do not blame them. It's their right - as they say. But is it human?

We will not stop until Jehovah tells us!

Spitfire said...

Oh NO!! Not only do you have them knocking at your door, but now on your blog!! TAKE COVER !!! :p Just kidding. Our family had them knocking once before and I was naive enough to take their magazines. Then they never went away. They always came Mondays around 5 o'clock without fail, which was the same time I got ready for cadets. Needless to say, coming to the door in a military uniform didn't really impressed them. I finally told them I was interested in their magazines anymore. Just be polite! :-)

Chris Taylor said...

Those are all helpful suggestions and I agree politeness is the way to go if you want harmony and good feelings all around.

On the other hand it has zero entertainment value, so I suggest the following courses of action:

1) Pretend you are deaf. Fake ASL if you have to.

2) Place your lawn sprinkler near the front door. Crank that baby up when they ring the doorbell.

3) Answer the door with a baseball bat. Yell "For the last time, I CANCELLED my subscription!" Slam the door shut.

Danny Haszard said...

-A heads up on the Jehovah Witness-

There is no Armageddon that will annihilate 6.5 billion people,and install Watchtower leaders as world rulers.

The core dogma of the Watchtower organization is that Jesus had his second coming 'invisibly' in the year 1914.Their entire doctrinal superstructure is built on this falsehood.

Jehovah's Witnesses door to door recruitment is by their own admission an ineffective tactic. They have lost membership in all countries with major Internet access because their false doctrines and harmful practices are exposed on the modern information superhighway.

There is good and valid reasons why there is such an outrage against the Watchtower for misleading millions of followers.Many have invested everything in the 'imminent' apocalyptic promises of the Jehovah's Witnesses and have died broken and beaten.

Every Jehovah's Witness member will grow old and die just like everyone else.
Danny Haszard Bangor Maine 'expert witness on the Jehovah's Witness'

Anonymous said...

Order a couple of these to hand out. They give you The Watchtower; you give them a Chick tract.

I don't agree at all with those whacky fundamentalist beliefs spouted by Chick and his ilk, but I DO think it would be pretty amusing to use his JH tract this way.

Oh, and kind of scary the Witnesses are hounding you online as well. Sheesh.

Pim said...

Hang a mirror on your door. Worked for me.

Tanya said...

This is about a month past the date but... I'd hang a sign by your driveway telling J.W's not to waste their time coming up your driveway. Oh, and mention that it's private property and trespassers will be prosecuted (whether they will or won't doesn't matter - it often seems to work).

Norma said...

I've never had a problem with JW or telemarketers. Just say No. It is not being rude--you are releasing them to talk to someone who cares. You are doing them a kindness, although maybe not your neighbors.

Anonymous said...

Good greif.

Is that Danny Haszard Bangor Maine guy still copying and pasting his crap around?

Anyway. Be nice and tell them not to come back! Just don't come running when there's fire and stuff falling from the skies......

Anonymous said...


This website summarizes 300 United States court cases and lawsuits affecting children of Jehovah's Witnesses, including dozens of cases where the Parents refused to consent to life-saving blood transfusions:


This website summarizes 160 United States court cases and lawsuits filed by Jehovah's Witnesses against Employers:


Anonymous said...

The Danny Haszard Cult now has a few followers.
Danny has adopted the universal cult-leader stance of presenting himself as both a victim, and a type of

savior showing the way to salvation. He is of course successful with only those who reject an honest

investigation and give themselves over to the control and teachings of someone who teaches hate.
These traits, of being a victim and a leader intensely interested in saving others, are of course at the very

essence of Cults and their delusional leaders.
Though offering a pretense of help, however, his offering lacks conciliatory and genuine assistance to

Jehovah's Witnesses, fellow "victims" for whom surely he must hold some kind of good intent.... But, no,

he sadly and pathetically just tries to create separation and anger, tries to divide families, tries to destroy

happiness, and teaches a withdrawing from and a rejection of the accepted freedoms of speech of our

He suppresses the truth in favor of his own vitriolic hate. His efforts are reflective of a perception of

personal grandeur and a fixation on his own self-worth.
Also a trait of Cult leaders, Danny lacks the fortitude and purpose in life to accomplish good for himself

and others without needing the adulation of others he can dupe. Cult leaders need to build their own self

-esteem and to feed their own personal aggrandisement, and to strengthen their own wobbly beliefs by

grasping for the approval of followers. Anger is so often a front for fear and weakness. It is the weak

person, usually accompanied by weak reasoning, who turns from truth and uses anger and fear as a

motivator. Those similarly inclined or susceptible become followers of cult leaders like Danny Haszard.
He has actually made himself more of a slave to the Watchtower than he ever was as a member - he is

addicted to his fears and anger, addicted to attacking, delusional as to the success of his efforts to tear

down the faith of others, and uses hate as a tool to appeal to those similarly lacking in faith, or honesty, or

dignity, or self-worth, or personal esteem.
Remarkably his entire purpose in life in now linked to a preoccupation with the Watchtower.
This cultish behavior includes efforts to drawing off a following for himself....He has set himself up as an

authority figure who works hard to attract followers.
This is the new Danny Haszard Cult.

Danny Haszard said...


Who's Danny Haszard?

Stalking Jehovah's Witnesses trolls just eaten up with jealousy over Danny Haszard
Troll flamebaiters--Your notions though many are not worth a penny When it gets down to facts, the apologist does not respond back, everything about the Jehovah's Witnesses troll is deception because you are a supremacist cult who feel no need to be truthful with unbelievers who are all,"gonna die at armageddon anyway".

This is the Jehovah's Witnesses troll IP address
Aurora, CO