Does This Mean The Wife Is Guilty Of Attempted Murder?

This article claims that men who have 350 orgasms a year live about 4 years longer than the average men who have about a quarter of that number.

What is the life span of those of us who are averaging 12 per year?

Three Weeks in the Hospital

I'm tired. 

I have spent the last 2 days and nights in the hospital with J. We brought her in three weeks ago. She had been sick for the three weeks before that. We tried everything we could to avoid this visit, but one day we noticed her breathing was more laboured than usual, and decided to take her into emergency. Of course, she was admitted.

We are getting pretty good at knowing how sick she is and what signs to look for. We could have left her at home and done a few things to help stave off this visit but it would have meant a more serious illness later. 

I did not think this visit would be this long, so I am a bit frustrated. She was less sick than in all other previous visits, but yet this visit is still as long as her average visit. Those that care for her are all very nice and very professional, but after two days of living here I am sick of seeing and talking to them. Every twelve hours a new nurse and new RT come on shift and I have to answer the same questions about her. It's important to be here to answer those questions and I think it improves her care, but it gets boring explaining the same things over and over. 

I think I know how a tour guide feels.

Outsmarting the Glove Nazi: Tales from a Lunch Supervisor

Another area that greatly bothers the Glove Nazi is putting outdoor clothing away. 

When the kids come in from recess they have to put their boots on the boot rack and their clothes in their cubby. Of course, these are six and seven year olds, so they often forget and leave their stuff on the floor.

In this area the Glove Nazi agrees with me. She is tired of constantly telling the kids to pick up this and put away that, so now she just puts everything that is not in its proper place into the the lost and found. The kids learn their lesson the next time they have recess, when they come to her and say "I can't find my _____". "Did you put it away properly? Maybe it was on the floor and someone put it in the lost and found." Which, of course, it is because she put it there. I am pretty sure she knows all the kids and which clothes are theirs, but she teaches them a lesson and most of them learn.

Except for those that learn how to outsmart that lesson.

Glove Nazi: Tales from a Lunch Supervisor

There are a regular stable of people who act as lunch supervisors at J's school. Sometimes I am not good with names, especially in this situation, where all of the names I have to remember are people who are very similar in appearance and lack easily distinguishing features. It's easy for them to remember my name, I am the only guy. Much harder for me as they are all white females and mothers in their 30's neither fat nor skinny and within the average of attractiveness.

A good way to remember people is by giving them names that match some prominent feature, such as big nose, funny face, etc. If a group lacks large differences in physical characteristics, I usually head towards personality, hence: The Glove Nazi.

The Glove Nazi is an older woman, so I probably could come up with a name based on her appearance, as she is not the typical in her 30's mother, but the name just fits her so well I have to use it. 

The Glove Nazi is all about making sure the kids follow the rules. She spends most of her time telling the kids to go back on put on their hat or coat. But her biggest "thing" is gloves. I think she knows she has a bit of a thing about gloves as she was quick to explain to me on the first day that she had seen some bad frostbite cases and so was particular about gloves. 

While I agree that the kids should be wearing the proper winter clothes, she is very authoritarian about it. Sometimes kids learn best by having direct contact with the results of their choices. If little Johnny doesn't wear his gloves and his hands start to hurt, that pain will focus his attention and maybe next time he will remember to wear his gloves. My approach is to gently question them "Aren't you cold?" when they answer no, I look at them skeptically and "Ok, but I sure would be cold if I didn't have my ____ on?" It's probably less effective and I have yet to see a kid go running back to school to get whatever item they are not wearing, but perhaps I have made some small step towards having them become more responsible for themselves.  

Of course, I don't want some six year old to lose a finger just to learn a simple lesson, but is that really a risk? They don't let the kids go out if it is less that -15 degrees C and lunch is only twenty-four minutes, not enough to get frostbite.

At some point they have to learn to take some responsibility for themselves. I think it is better to guide rather than order them. Plus, I would go insane spending all that time saying things like "Sally, go get your gloves", "Fred go put on your hat", "Where are your pants", etc. I would never survive as an elementary school teacher. 

The one good thing about the Glove Nazi is that she does the job I don't want to do. 

And she gives me something to write about.

Happy Valentine's Day - "I Wish You Were Dead"

Yesterday my six year old daughter said to me "I wish you were dead". When I recovered from my surprise, I asked her why she wished I was dead. Her reply: "Then Mommy wouldn't get mad at you all the time."

Kids often will say something like "I hate you" or "I wish you would die" when they are young because they lack the words to express their frustration when you say they can't do or have something that they want. The other times when K has said something like that it did not bother me, as I knew she was just unable to express her anger with me. This was different. I was shocked and hurt because there was nothing like that going on this time. I had not denied her anything just before to bring this on.

But the last part of this story shocked me the most. I looked over at the Wife and she was smiling, almost laughing at this turn of events.

And then it dawned on me what was going on.

US/Canadian Murder Rate Comparison

As I have mentioned before, gun control and the US Second Ammendment is one of my areas of interests.

This post from PJ Media has an interesting comparison between US and Canadian murder rates from states/provinces that border each other. 

While this is an interesting comparison, I don't think the relationship of less restrictive gun control = less crime is proven in this comparison. Florida has liberal carry laws, but I suspect its murder rate is higher than most Canadian provinces. 

I think that popluation density, rural vs urban living may have more of an effect on murder rates than gun control.

This is not to say that gun control does not have an effect. Most location experience a drop in their violent crime rate when it is easier for law abiding citizens to get a gun.

No One Likes a Rat: Tales from a Lunch Supervisor

Tattle telling is staple of elementary school life. Yesterday was particularly bad, as it seems a higher number of "clients" in the "yard" were trying to ingratiate themselves with authority, or settle scores using the boss.

Most problems I have to deal with as a lunch supervisor have me torn two ways and tattle telling is a great example. You need the kids to come and tell you about their problems with other kids because they lack all the skills to deal with each other. We want to help them with that, or all problems will end up being fights. So you can't just dismiss their concerns. Yet they need to learn some independence and problem solving skills, or they will be a nightmare when they become adults, so you can't treat everything as a serious problem and solve it for them. Somehow they have to understand that that particular problem is not that serious and they should deal with it but that one is serious and they should talk to an adult.

Also, I hate tattle telling. My default would be to tell them to sort it out themselves, as most of their problems tend to be of the "Tommy won't stop looking at me" variety.So I have to watch this tendency, otherwise they will learn not to tell about anything.

Yesterday I had to deal with two of these not important incidents. Two girls come up to me with a complaint:

Projectile Vomiting

I think the Wife tried to kill me last night. 

I can't remember the last time I threw up. It has been at least 20 years. Last night, I projectile vomited twice and had the runs.  The Wife was the same, so if it is murder, she covered her tracks well. Although, she says she threw up, but I was too busy being sick myself to see it. 

She thinks it might be Norwalk, but I am not aware of it going around in our area. If it was Norwalk, I could have got it from the kids during my lunch supervisor job, but she got it at the same time as I did. If I passed it to her, you would think there would be a bit of a delay.

So I think it is food poisoning. We both ate the same soup last night and were sick at the same time. K is also complaining of stomach aches, but she has not thrown up. She did not have the soup.

Thankfully, our babysitter is here today and I can go back to bed. I don't feel like throwing up anymore, but I ache all over and did not get much sleep last night.

Perhaps a shower first, as I had the cold sweats all last night. 

Get a Job: Lunch Supervisor Edition

So the Wife forced me to get a job. 

The Wife goes back to work from maternity leave in a few months, so it's not like I can get something permanent or full time. I would much rather spend my time trying to get my part time career going. Something I can do and still watch the kids. But we need the money and the Wife will not be assuaged.

So what am I doing? I am a lunch supervisor at J's school. It's 1 hour a day at around 20 dollars an hour. It's almost a volunteer job. The pay covers gas. I go outside at lunch and make sure they don't kill each other in the playground. When they come inside to eat lunch, I get them milk. The school has a milk program. Pay 75 cents and get milk.

Needless to say, I am a bit overqualified for the job. But it does have some perks. I get to meet the parents of some of the other students. As you can guess, the other people doing the job are stay at home Mom's. And some of them are hot. As the only guy, I get to flirt a bit, pretend I am still good looking and desirable. 

And I get to remind myself of what it was like to be in elementary school. One thing interesting about having kids is that you re-live growing up, but with the wisdom of age, so it is less intense and traumatic. Being in the school yard is like that, except you see from age 6 to 12 at the same time. And I already have a bunch of stories.

It's boring, but interesting.  

Happy Birthday to Me

I am 43 today. I don't feel that old. 

I feel like I am still 28. I guess that is my residual self image. When I see people in their 20's I don't think of myself as 20 years older or as being twice their age.

That is, of course, until reality decides to remind me. 

When I get up in the morning and my back and joints are stiff. When I bend my knees and they make that cracking sound. When I work out and things don't flex as far as they used to. 

Our bodies remind us of the truth that our minds have not yet accepted. 

Will it always be like this? Will I be 70 years old and still see myself as 28? Will I look in the mirror and wonder who is the person looking back at me and when did he get so old? Or at 70, will I see myself as I was at 40?

US Politics and Gun Control

I have always been interested in US Politics. I find Canadian Politics a bit boring. It is always the same stuff over and over again, so I tend to follow US politics very closely. 

The big debate down south right now is gun control. 

So of the most emotional arguments for gun control are also the poorest. But because they appeal to the emotions they are the hardest to refute.

All right have limits and one of the hardest arguments for Second Amendment advocates is what should be the limit on the Second Amendment. Don't say no limits. Freedom of speech is limited by libel and yelling "Fire" in a crowded theater (when there is no fire). Does the Second Amendment allow US citizens to own nuclear weapons? Or only Revolutionary War muskets?

Anyone can answer that question, but is that answer based on a principle and what is that principle. 

Here is an excellent post that answers the question of limits on the Second Amendment in a logically consistent way.