"Then You Cook the Fish!"

Sometimes, the Wife can be very frustrating.

I enjoy cooking, but it has to be my own meal idea. 

The Wife does not like seafood. She hates it. The only seafood she will eat is fish, and she is not a fan of that. I love seafood,  (I almost considered dumping the Wife when we first started dating because I would never be able to take her for sushi) except for fish which I can take or leave.

The Wife often comes up with meal ideas, usually good ones. Unfortunately, she tries to get me to cook her ideas. I usually don't listen. I need to be inspired and to make an idea my own for me to enjoy cooking it. 

So, when she comes up with a good meal idea, I usually tell her to do it herself, when it is her turn to cook.

The other day the Wife decided to make a fish dish. Neither of us are fans of fish, but it is good for you and is part of my diet, so I was game.

As an aside, the Wife has been very supportive of my diet, buying food and coming up with ideas to relieve my food monotony. It has been a great help.

As any man, I pride myself on being able to cook meat perfectly. The Wife acknowledges my superiority in this task, and she did so again, by asking me to cook the fish for her.

I am a firm believer in the old saying "Too many cooks, spoil the broth". If I am cooking, it is my meal and anyone else in the kitchen is working for me. The Wife seems to think the same way, as evidenced by her yelling at me when I occasionally open the oven door to see what smells so good on her night to cook.

I was reluctant to cook the fish, because when I cook I like to be in charge. However, she asked me and I caved, thinking I would just do the fish and be done.

The Wife is paranoid about under cooking things. She likes all her meat very well done. You cannot understand the pain I go through each summer as a barbecue a lovely piece of meat to perfection, nice and juicy, only to have her bring it back to me with a look of utter distaste, as if I had served her vomit, and ask me to burn all the flavour out of it. I keep cooking everything properly, hoping one day she will realize her error, and stop insisting everything be burned to a crisp. 

So with some trepidation, I agree to do the fish. I fry it up to perfection, cooked all the way through, somewhat proud at having cooked it perfectly, as I do not have much experience with fish. The wife says "Could you put it back in for a bit, it needs to be white all the way through and fake easily with a fork." I reply that it is perfectly cooked, white all the way through and I demonstrate how I can easily flake it with a fork. Now, I don't mind if you want something more cooked that it is (well, actually, I do mind considering it is cooked perfectly), but don't claim it does not meet your criteria when it clearly does.

Of course, this precipitates an argument where I make such statements as "If you want it burnt, just say so", "Don't tell me it is not done when it clearly is", "Why did you ask me to do it, then?" and the title of this post.