The wife is away this week.
This means no need to celebrate Valentine’s Day. Not that I hate Valentine’s Day. I view it as any other man on this planet, with a sense of fear and slight loathing. When I was single, I dreaded Valentines Day. It was like a trap, set by society to destroy whatever relationship you happened to be in.
Here we have this day where men are forced to buy a present for whomever they are dating. Do I get her a present? If you don’t and she thinks you should have, it’s over. If you get her something, then what? Too cheap, its over. Too expensive, you are too serious, and it’s over. Get it just right and you win big. Unfortunately, men are not wired to be good at making those types of judgements, so the chance of winning big is stacked against us.
Valentines Day was part of the reason I got married. No more guesses, get her a token and you are good to go. If she is mad about you spending only $10 on flowers, some excuse about saving the money for a trip, or being broken after buying the big TV would usually suffice.
I am luckier than most, and this is why I recommend dating or even marrying the left wing types: They don’t believe in Valentines Day!
The wife considers it a conspiracy of the greeting card companies (I tend to agree). Lefties think everything is a conspiracy, so even if she doesn’t, drop a nice hint, such as “So, should we get something for each other for Valentines Day? I was going to, but the whole thing is a bit of a scam by the greeting card companies, don’t you think?”
When I decided to ask her to marry me, two things went through my head. I knew it would be difficult, as I have trouble dealing with the lefty conspiracy types, such as everyone’s favourite Robert McClelland. The lack of logic in their arguments makes my head hurt. I know I would have to put out with that sort of stuff for the rest of my life. On the other hand, lefty girls hate all the open my door and Valentines Day crap, and will do anything in the sack.
Don’t you believe it. The Wife says Valentines Day is a conspiracy, but watch her eyes light up when you get her something. Or watch the chance of you getting something fade if you don’t.
This Valentines Day she isn’t here, so problem solved.
Oh, and that stuff about doing anything in the sack. That’s crap.
Just like Valentines Day.
3 comments:
Valentine's day has gotten all messed up by the commercialization of it. No one even remembers St. Valentine.
The Saint, was an RC priest who defied the Emperor of his day by marrying people. See the Emperor was all freaked about all these people marrying and being all Christian like and loving each other instead of joining the army and fighting.
Hence he banned new marriages. Saint Valentine thought otherwise.
The story is that while he was locked up in prison he wrote a letter to a young bride and ended it with "Your Valentine..."
This isn't a lefty thing or a righty thing. This has to do with the value of marriage and love.
That's what the point of all this Valentine's crap was originally supposed to be. It's supposed to be a time you appreciate that significant other, and appreciate the other loves that you have... That includes family.
So really, women shouldn't be complaining or making judgements on the gifts they receive. And really, they should be giving the guy a gift in return.
It's about self-giving - selfishlessly. And that is always a good thing.
honey, why don't you tell them about our first valentine's together, when you bought me a box of Glosettes....LWG
You had me wishing my wife (originally from Ont) hadn't become a RW westerner so fast after moving out here a few years ago with your "do anything in the sack" comment!
I was thinking to myself "self, now, that explains a lot", then you ruined it at the end!
But you are right, the left/right wing thing has nothing to do with what she does(or not) in the sack, the quickest way to put the brakes on her sexual appetite is MARRIAGE!
Don't say I didn't warn ya!
skal!
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