Outsmarting the Glove Nazi: Tales from a Lunch Supervisor

Another area that greatly bothers the Glove Nazi is putting outdoor clothing away. 

When the kids come in from recess they have to put their boots on the boot rack and their clothes in their cubby. Of course, these are six and seven year olds, so they often forget and leave their stuff on the floor.

In this area the Glove Nazi agrees with me. She is tired of constantly telling the kids to pick up this and put away that, so now she just puts everything that is not in its proper place into the the lost and found. The kids learn their lesson the next time they have recess, when they come to her and say "I can't find my _____". "Did you put it away properly? Maybe it was on the floor and someone put it in the lost and found." Which, of course, it is because she put it there. I am pretty sure she knows all the kids and which clothes are theirs, but she teaches them a lesson and most of them learn.

Except for those that learn how to outsmart that lesson.

Glove Nazi: Tales from a Lunch Supervisor

There are a regular stable of people who act as lunch supervisors at J's school. Sometimes I am not good with names, especially in this situation, where all of the names I have to remember are people who are very similar in appearance and lack easily distinguishing features. It's easy for them to remember my name, I am the only guy. Much harder for me as they are all white females and mothers in their 30's neither fat nor skinny and within the average of attractiveness.

A good way to remember people is by giving them names that match some prominent feature, such as big nose, funny face, etc. If a group lacks large differences in physical characteristics, I usually head towards personality, hence: The Glove Nazi.

The Glove Nazi is an older woman, so I probably could come up with a name based on her appearance, as she is not the typical in her 30's mother, but the name just fits her so well I have to use it. 

The Glove Nazi is all about making sure the kids follow the rules. She spends most of her time telling the kids to go back on put on their hat or coat. But her biggest "thing" is gloves. I think she knows she has a bit of a thing about gloves as she was quick to explain to me on the first day that she had seen some bad frostbite cases and so was particular about gloves. 

While I agree that the kids should be wearing the proper winter clothes, she is very authoritarian about it. Sometimes kids learn best by having direct contact with the results of their choices. If little Johnny doesn't wear his gloves and his hands start to hurt, that pain will focus his attention and maybe next time he will remember to wear his gloves. My approach is to gently question them "Aren't you cold?" when they answer no, I look at them skeptically and "Ok, but I sure would be cold if I didn't have my ____ on?" It's probably less effective and I have yet to see a kid go running back to school to get whatever item they are not wearing, but perhaps I have made some small step towards having them become more responsible for themselves.  

Of course, I don't want some six year old to lose a finger just to learn a simple lesson, but is that really a risk? They don't let the kids go out if it is less that -15 degrees C and lunch is only twenty-four minutes, not enough to get frostbite.

At some point they have to learn to take some responsibility for themselves. I think it is better to guide rather than order them. Plus, I would go insane spending all that time saying things like "Sally, go get your gloves", "Fred go put on your hat", "Where are your pants", etc. I would never survive as an elementary school teacher. 

The one good thing about the Glove Nazi is that she does the job I don't want to do. 

And she gives me something to write about.

No One Likes a Rat: Tales from a Lunch Supervisor

Tattle telling is staple of elementary school life. Yesterday was particularly bad, as it seems a higher number of "clients" in the "yard" were trying to ingratiate themselves with authority, or settle scores using the boss.

Most problems I have to deal with as a lunch supervisor have me torn two ways and tattle telling is a great example. You need the kids to come and tell you about their problems with other kids because they lack all the skills to deal with each other. We want to help them with that, or all problems will end up being fights. So you can't just dismiss their concerns. Yet they need to learn some independence and problem solving skills, or they will be a nightmare when they become adults, so you can't treat everything as a serious problem and solve it for them. Somehow they have to understand that that particular problem is not that serious and they should deal with it but that one is serious and they should talk to an adult.

Also, I hate tattle telling. My default would be to tell them to sort it out themselves, as most of their problems tend to be of the "Tommy won't stop looking at me" variety.So I have to watch this tendency, otherwise they will learn not to tell about anything.

Yesterday I had to deal with two of these not important incidents. Two girls come up to me with a complaint:

Get a Job: Lunch Supervisor Edition

So the Wife forced me to get a job. 

The Wife goes back to work from maternity leave in a few months, so it's not like I can get something permanent or full time. I would much rather spend my time trying to get my part time career going. Something I can do and still watch the kids. But we need the money and the Wife will not be assuaged.

So what am I doing? I am a lunch supervisor at J's school. It's 1 hour a day at around 20 dollars an hour. It's almost a volunteer job. The pay covers gas. I go outside at lunch and make sure they don't kill each other in the playground. When they come inside to eat lunch, I get them milk. The school has a milk program. Pay 75 cents and get milk.

Needless to say, I am a bit overqualified for the job. But it does have some perks. I get to meet the parents of some of the other students. As you can guess, the other people doing the job are stay at home Mom's. And some of them are hot. As the only guy, I get to flirt a bit, pretend I am still good looking and desirable. 

And I get to remind myself of what it was like to be in elementary school. One thing interesting about having kids is that you re-live growing up, but with the wisdom of age, so it is less intense and traumatic. Being in the school yard is like that, except you see from age 6 to 12 at the same time. And I already have a bunch of stories.

It's boring, but interesting.